Building the Relationship

Role of the Mentor

Mentors and mentees alike look forward to a productive and rewarding mentoring experience. Building an open and enjoyable relationship of mutual respect will be your key to achieving this goal. Your ability to create and maintain a relationship will be a significant part of your success.

Please remember that the role of a mentor is not to find a job for the mentee. This expectation can put a strain on your mentoring relationship. Instead, maintain a focus on helping the mentee gain a better understanding and knowledge in the three key areas addressed by The Mentoring Partnership:
         Workplace culture in the Canadian context
         Information about the profession, industry, sector
         Networking to build professional links

Successful mentoring is all about

conversation
sharing of knowledge, information and experiences
learning from each other
opening doors
providing inspiration
validating another’s experience
helping an experienced professional to transfer their knowledge and experience so that they can achieve success in a new situation

Staying focused

It is inevitable that you will get side-tracked, distracted or slowed down by various developments during your time together.

Here are a few tips for what you can do at each meeting that may help you stay focused on your goal:

Follow up on earlier commitments – what has been achieved, what challenges came up, how can they be addressed?
Check on new developments in the mentee’s life – do they present a new opportunity or a new challenge that needs to be addressed?
Attend to anything that needs immediate attention, including a lack of motivation.
Briefly go over your goals and milestones – are you still on target?
Work on a topic or issue that you have selected for the day.
Identify next steps, with deadlines and outcomes.

Always take some time for small talk and catching up with each other.

Tips

Consider the following points that may require special emphasis as you work to establish your mentoring relationship:

Take time to get to know each other and to establish trust.
Share your experience and background with each other, including obstacles you have overcome.
Establish personal boundaries and respect them.
Agree to ask each other lots of questions.
Listen, listen, listen.

As a mentee, you will benefit from mentoring most if you

have specific written goals.
play a lead role in setting the agenda for each meeting with your mentor.
come prepared
- with the questions you think may be important to ask.
- to talk about your professional background, career goals and aspirations, challenges and barriers to success.
do your homework: follow up on research, conduct networking calls, revise your resume or anything else you and your mentor have agreed on in your meetings.
openly discuss any challenges you are facing, be they career-specific or with the partnership.
are accountable to your mentor, while assertively making choices that are best for you.
open to adopting new strategies and ideas in your job search.
do not expect all answers from your mentor, but accept their support in searching for answers.
acknowledge that your state of mind will influence your progress. A positive state of mind will make it easier for your mentor to support you; a more negative state of mind may do otherwise.
take responsibility for your emotions and attitudes.

Remember that your mentor is there to guide you in your job search process, not to find you a job.

As a mentor, you will mentor more effectively if you

are aware that your communication style may be different from your mentee’s.
give your mentee the benefit of the doubt when differences arise during your mentoring relationship. Assume positive intentions and discuss what you are experiencing.
make every effort to understand your mentee’s challenges and issues. Always keep in mind that your mentee may have limited resources and may feel pressure and urgency to find a job due to their personal and/or economic situation.
are honest about the limitations or difficulties which you see in your mentee.
ask for permission to go beyond sharing of knowledge. Start by asking “Do you want my support with this?”, “Shall we work together on this?” or “Do you want some feedback on this?”
address areas of skill enhancement.
reinforce your mentee’s strengths.
discuss when you or your mentee may need to consult the mentoring coach or other resources for assistance; seek help and advice when you need it.
keep culture shock in mind – adjusting to a new environment takes time and can be emotionally challenging.
remember that reactions are based on 20% of what is currently happening and 80% on the past, including the circumstances of your mentee’s education, professional experience.

Section Resources

Documents

External Links